Oh boy, I’m rich! (Not really)

I caught myself, off in a daze, staring off into the distance. All around me were people, just like myself, zombies looking nowhere, except at the back of human heads.

I was in the Tim’s line, and it was too early in the morning.

As always, once it was actually my turn to order, my expression quickly changed from a look of despair to someone who had just found water in the desert.

“Good morning! I will have one large, regular, please. No wait, make that an extra large. Oh you know what? Just give me that pot. Actually would you just mind……HOOKING IT TO ME VEINS?”

Settle down, Diane, settle down.

I performed this ritual about four times a week. Get up, shower, make myself semi-presentable for the outside world, walk past the coffee maker in my kitchen, get in my car, and then pay five times the price for the same kind of coffee I could have brewed at home.

Why didn’t I just bring my own? Was it the ritual? Did I just feel better buying my coffee in the morning? Do I feel I have too much money? I can most certainly assure you, this is not the case.

Whatever the reason, it got me started on a dark path that I will now call “actually looking at how much I spend on eating out every month and hiding under my desk.”

Dear Lord, make it stop.

I took a quick look at my last bank statement and wondered if my bank thought I was feeding a family of five. Besides the foolish food spending, there were other areas I appeared to lack any sense in, including paying for parking and the very real, very stupid need to buy new clothes when I had a closet bursting at the seam.

Something’s got to give, I thought as I sipped my coffee and ate my $4 bagel.

But what?

Alright, here it is. Since I quit eating meat a whopping week ago (thank you, thank you, I AM a better person) I’ve began to look at what else I can cut out of my life. So, in no particular order, I am writing down a plan to follow for a year. Yes, a year! That’s insane, right? F*%&in’ nuts! I start Monday (give a girl some time to adjust, alright?)

  1. No new clothes for a year. Those are big words coming from a girl who has used Instagram direct message to ask a store to put items on hold for her, but with all of the clothes I already own, a year should be easy.
  2. Lunch out only once per week. Yes, I was going to make myself bring lunch from home 5 days per week, but let’s get real for a moment – it might be asking for failure to go from lunch out everyday to none at all. Plus, TREAT YO-SELF.
  3. Farewell, my morning cup of incredibly expensive coffee. I have a coffeemaker. I have a coffee cup. I have a desire to stop spending $45 on coffee every month.
  4. Hair dye. Whoaaaaaaaa whoa whoa. Back up. My hair? MY HAIR? I was going to make an appointment the other day when I told my partner I was going to get it dyed. “Oh, what colour?” “Brown.” “So….the same colour it is now?” “yes….I…..have to cover up the 12 grey hairs I have. It will cost me $170.” Ya. Time to stop that and accept the fact I might be *gasp* not 18 anymore.
  5. Speaking of covering up, as I’ve previously written about, I am on this new “feel good, looking how I want to look” natural skincare kick. And honestly, it’s changing my life quite a bit. So, while I’ve already saved tons of money by switching over to local stuff, I am also going to continue to use a fraction of the makeup I used to, which should save me some serious dough.
  6. Get on the bus! Paying for parking downtown is ridiculous, and I’m even more ridiculous for continuing to do it. It’s one bus from my partner’s place to work, so minus once per week, I am going to start hoping on the big yellow vehicle of fun.

Alright, that should do it for now. I imagine my blog posts for the next little while should be full of side-effects from this plan, so please be patient as I navigate life without swiping my debit card six times a day.

Have a wonderful rest of your week,




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