A little sunshine, a little rain

The light poured in through the window, letting me know morning was here, and that I had carelessly forgotten to close my blackout blinds before I had gone to sleep the night before.

I grudgingly swung my legs out of bed, shut the blinds, and wondered how much it would cost to plaster over a window and remove it from the room entirely. My head was pounding, and my mood worsened as I remembered the reasons for indulging in so much wine.

For lack of a better term, it felt like someone had taken the funny out of me. I am normally cheery (after coffee) and excited for my day (after the second cup of coffee), but as I downed my third cup, I realized I may need a little more than caffeine to put a smile on my face. I blasted some Bob Marley tunes as loud as humanly possible while I got ready, threw on some exercise clothes and sneakers, and got into my car. I wasn’t entirely sure where I was headed yet, but I knew I needed to go somewhere to clear my head.

I drove through the city, still unsure of my destination, when I spotted the top of the Museum for Human Rights. Oh yes, the Forks. The place I had gone to with a book and coffee almost everyday last summer, strolling along the paths and choosing a spot to lay down while I basked in the sunlight.

I quickly turned my car around and pulled into a spot. The walking paths were still wet, but I didn’t mind. I was grateful to be out in the fresh air, walking alongside the Red River. I grabbed a coffee, picked a bench, and looked out onto the water. This was my thinking place. It was where I made decisions, where I came to realizations, and where I let my problems go.

Life can be a rollercoaster sometimes. The ups and downs can throw us for a loop, and it’s easy to get taken for a ride. Situations that seem so black and white to someone else can appear a muddled tone of grey, leaving you confused and unsure of yourself. It is only once you step back and look at things in your life objectively, whether it be work, school, or relationships, that you will start to see things are they really are.

People are human. They make mistakes. They get hurt. They do the hurting. They feel. Sometimes they’re sorry, sometimes they’re not. But, lucky for us, it is ultimately always up to us to choose the lens through which we see a situation. We don’t have the power to control exactly what happens to us, but we do have the power to decide how we will react to it. We are in charge of our own happiness, and of the ability to decide if we will do everything we can to be ok.

And today, in the sunlight, I felt ok, and I let it go.

3 thoughts on “A little sunshine, a little rain

  1. We all have that day, moment, minute or even week. The time when we are confused about what, how and most importantly why. Having the ability to self assess and move on is super amazing….as you are.

    Like

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